1 00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,990 -The "Today" show? 2 00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:10,540 -We are talking to Pulitzer Prize-winning author 3 00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:13,500 Lindy Littlejohn about her sensational new short story. 4 00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,790 -Reality check, you didn't fucking write it. 5 00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:18,130 -You know, everything I write provokes someone. 6 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,470 -I'm acting perfectly normal! 7 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,550 -Maybe control is his love language. 8 00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:24,140 -You ran out saying someone could be dead. 9 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:26,390 -Yeah, Lindy is-- Lindy is having a hard time. 10 00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:27,810 Richard: As our size decreased, 11 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,730 our proportional strength increased. 12 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,230 -[cheers] -This is your time. 13 00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:33,480 -Tell me it's my turn. 14 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,190 -My turn is yet to win me the Nobel. 15 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,980 -The Nobel? [laughs] 16 00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:39,530 Les: How can I trust you 17 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,150 if you're gonna expose me like that? 18 00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:42,910 -Don't trust me then! 19 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:44,030 -So the seizures have nothing to do with miniaturization? 20 00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:45,240 -Completely unrelated. 21 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,410 -Lindy? 22 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,410 -Right here, Les. 23 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,540 And I can take care of myself. 24 00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:51,330 -Lindy? Is that you? 25 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,250 -She was going to leave me. It was an accident. 26 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,920 -Until you are honest, you are fucked. 27 00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:57,750 -She left us, didn't she? 28 00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:01,170 -Lindy was on the "Today" show this morning. 29 00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,890 -What? What? What?! 30 00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,440 Truth is, I miniaturized you... 31 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,070 on purpose. 32 00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:16,320 [upbeat music playing] 33 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,080 [cat purring] 34 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:36,930 -Whatever. 35 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,100 [meows] 36 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:51,470 -If I was Mom, what would my password be? 37 00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:53,440 [meows, purrs] 38 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,620 -Oh, yeah. 39 00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:05,110 "'Darling Daughter' by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn. 40 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,740 "What if I told you I spent nine months building a jail, 41 00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,990 "only to sentence myself to a lifetime in prison? 42 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:15,510 "That, I've discovered, is what motherhood actually is. 43 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,840 "From her adorable baby's face, those demonic eyes stare out. 44 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:24,590 "Laughing at me. 'Yes,' she's saying, 45 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,810 "'I've ruined your fucking day again.' 46 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,840 "'Mommy!' She cries. 47 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,800 "Her voice a razor blade to my ears. 48 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,430 "I want her to call out for me. 49 00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:33,930 "I wanna be there for her. 50 00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,140 "I want my maternal instinct to kick in. 51 00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,520 "Why won't it? 52 00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:39,350 "I dream of a life without a daughter, 53 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:41,610 "sucking at the teat of inspiration, 54 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,190 "preventing me from being... 55 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,830 "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." 56 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,710 Fuck. Mom hates me. -[meows] 57 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,340 [light music playing] 58 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:08,730 ♪ Maybe it's much ♪ ♪ Too early in the game ♪ 59 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,640 ♪ But I thought ♪ ♪ I'd ask you just the same ♪ 60 00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,680 [food sizzling] 61 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,980 ♪ What are you doing ♪ ♪ New Year's... ♪ 62 00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:23,070 -Got your invitation. -[Lindy gasps] 63 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,650 A New Year's Eve brunch for me? 64 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,200 I mean, I'm honored. 65 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,080 But what, uh, what prompted this? 66 00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:33,580 -A new perspective. 67 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,630 -Huh. 68 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,920 -I'm embracing my six-inch self. 69 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,750 But I realized I've been kind of a jerk. 70 00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:46,050 -Hey, jerk is strong, given the circumstances. 71 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,340 -See? You've been nothing but kind, Richard. 72 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,140 And I wanted you to know, 73 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,390 I am grateful for you and your company. 74 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:58,850 -"The course of true love never did run smooth." 75 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,020 Shakespeare. -No. 76 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:02,900 New year, new me. 77 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:06,690 I'm sorry. -Mom always says, 78 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,440 it's never too late to begin again. 79 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,200 -Oh, your mom. 80 00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:11,700 So wise. -Right? 81 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,450 -To new beginnings. 82 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,620 -You know what else my mom said-- 83 00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:15,740 -Should we eat? 84 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,370 It's just gonna get cold, I think. 85 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,750 -Okay. -Okay. 86 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,420 [elecronic music playing] 87 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,680 [soft beeping] 88 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:40,980 [all gasping] -Oh. 89 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,730 -A tremendous success. 90 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,730 Subject expanded to regular size 91 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,650 and stabilized for two minutes and 3.3 seconds. 92 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,240 An increase of one minute and 32.7 seconds! 93 00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,280 all: Yes! -Whoo! Science progress! 94 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:57,240 Yeah! Oh. 95 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,620 -Well done. -Yeah! Great job. 96 00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:00,000 -That is well done. -Great job. 97 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,330 -Well done. -Yeah. Slowing the reaction 98 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,000 down, way, way down helped, um... 99 00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:04,620 -Yes. The, uh, nuclei need time... 100 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,170 Les: Yeah. -...which is acceptable... 101 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,170 Les: Yes. -...to form stronger bonds. 102 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,420 -Yes. Uh, it's fundamental to--yes, 103 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,300 for those fragile--uh, to cement those connections. 104 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,930 -The--or, uh, alliances. 105 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,010 -Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. -Yes. 106 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,810 -Are we talking about science? 107 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,850 -Yes, Hilton. 108 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,600 We're always talking about science. 109 00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:24,240 This is a lab of science. 110 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,440 -Okay. Well, I heard a bang, and then, there was, like, 111 00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:27,810 a cheer of release, so my mind went there. 112 00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:29,650 It was in my head. Is there good news? 113 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,280 -It was a big win, yes. 114 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,820 Slowing the expansion of the corn 115 00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:35,910 mitigated the molecular disequilibrium, yes. 116 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,120 -Translation, it's remarkable progress. 117 00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:41,120 -Fuck yeah. We should celebrate. 118 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:43,790 I'm having a New Year's Eve shindig tonight at my place. 119 00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:46,170 Gonna be amazing food, crazy guest list, 120 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,210 and you are all invited. 121 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,840 -Wait, it's New Year's Eve? 122 00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:53,010 Uh, I can't go. Uh, it's my anniversary. 123 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,630 -Oh. Just bring Lindy. 124 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,500 It'll be great to see her again. 125 00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:58,690 -Well, well, uh... -[Hilton chuckles] 126 00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:02,810 -I only organize fantastic parties. 127 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,230 You gotta come. Done. Set. Happy. 128 00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,950 See you all there. 129 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,070 Whoo! 130 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:13,320 -Translation, see you all there means Les only. 131 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:14,860 And you can't say no. 132 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,080 [phone dings and buzzes] 133 00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,240 -Do you think you'll bring Lindy? 134 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,660 -Um, I don't know. 135 00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,920 I mean, I--it's--uh, I don't know. 136 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,580 Lindy [on recording]: Hey, I've done a lot of thinking, 137 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:32,420 and I'm embracing my six-inch self 138 00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,420 so, New Year, new me. 139 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,010 I forgive you for shrinking me on purpose. 140 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,680 Meet me in the dollhouse. 141 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,550 I have an anniversary surprise for you. 142 00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:41,900 -[chuckles] 143 00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:47,850 woman: Oh, the missus? 144 00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,270 She left. 145 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:50,900 -Was she mad? 146 00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:53,360 woman: She had two glasses of wine and left. 147 00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:54,610 -So she was mad. 148 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,360 Maybe disappointed. 149 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:57,750 -That's worse. Isn't it? 150 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,570 -Happy New Year. 151 00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,530 [Charlie sighs] 152 00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,000 woman: Charlie, what's happening? 153 00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:07,540 [door closes] 154 00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,080 [woman on TV gasps] 155 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,380 He shouldn't be alone right now. 156 00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:11,630 man: Let him go. 157 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,760 -Hi. 158 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,180 -Hi. 159 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,810 -Hey, Lindy. -Hey, Les. 160 00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,610 Happy anniversary. 161 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,140 -It's okay. Lay into me. I... 162 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,730 I deserve it. 163 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:30,820 Lindy: You do. 164 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,160 But I understand. 165 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,780 -You do? 166 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:39,780 Lindy: You're caught up in your work. 167 00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:41,240 And when you're in it, 168 00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,960 you can lose track of birthdays, holidays. 169 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,130 I know I do. Did. 170 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,080 You supported me in the way I needed it, 171 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,050 so I'm supporting you. 172 00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,090 -Okay. -Uh-hmm. 173 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,430 So I was mad. 174 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:06,510 I mean, I was alone in a restaurant 175 00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:07,820 on New Year's Eve. 176 00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:12,270 But then, I came home and I got cozy, 177 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,150 and I was gonna watch the ball drop with Lulu, 178 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,480 but she won't come out of her room. 179 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,780 Probably something to do with Steffy. 180 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,280 And so, I opened up a bottle 181 00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,660 of your do-not-touch-until-never wine. 182 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,250 And now I feel better. 183 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,260 -I love you. 184 00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:37,680 -I love you too. 185 00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:42,880 Feel free to apologize profusely. 186 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,640 -Yeah. -And maybe next time 187 00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:46,010 bring me those chocolates I like from the drugstore. 188 00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:49,020 -I am sorry and I apologize profusely for, um, 189 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:52,360 disappointing you and for forgetting our anniversary. 190 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,410 -I forgive you. 191 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:03,960 [both chuckle] 192 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,090 -It's, like, the big box. -Yeah. 193 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:14,050 -Well, happy anniversary. -Happy anniversary. 194 00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,550 -All right. All is forgiven. 195 00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:22,470 Les: Lindy? 196 00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,230 Oh, Lindy... [chuckles] 197 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,900 [doorbell rings] 198 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:34,150 Lindy? 199 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,990 You got me intrigued. 200 00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,920 -Happy anniversary, honey! 201 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,920 -Happy anniversary. 202 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,760 Lindy: Oh, you remembered! 203 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:03,430 [suspenseful music playing] 204 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,270 -What is that? 205 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,270 -Your surprise. 206 00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:16,730 -Oh. I--it's not what you think, Les. 207 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,030 -It's exactly what you think. 208 00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:22,900 -Uh, Richard? Is that really you? 209 00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:23,820 -Yeah. 210 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,320 Richard Paul Wear 211 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:27,610 from your fucking lab. 212 00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:31,080 -This is not how I foresaw us having this conversation. 213 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,910 -You and him--and her? What? 214 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,250 You thought we would have a conversation? 215 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,830 What? -One day. 216 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,750 As gentlemen. 217 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,130 -How long? -Forever. 218 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,090 -Six and a half months. Barely. 219 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,260 -Uh, why him? -He's not you! 220 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:48,590 -It was a chance encounter. Um, but you have-- 221 00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,930 Les: Lindy, how could you? Because I... 222 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,640 I told you the truth. 223 00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,600 I poured my heart out to you. 224 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:56,140 I was vulnerable. And now this? Why? Why? 225 00:10:56,180 --> 00:11:00,440 -I did it...on purpose! 226 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,650 -On purpose? 227 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,440 -Yeah, he knows why. 228 00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:04,940 -But you forgave me. 229 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:07,750 -I lied! [laughs] 230 00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,120 -How dare you. Lindy: How dare me? 231 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:16,450 So, you can lie, leave a voice note, and what? 232 00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:17,790 You're Abraham Lincoln? 233 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:21,130 -You baited me on a voice note, 234 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,130 and then you exploited our wedding anniversary, 235 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,630 and then you reveal you're having an affair 236 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,300 with my physicist? 237 00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:28,680 How is that the same? 238 00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:32,140 -It's not. It's meant to be worse! 239 00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:34,180 -I was lying to be kind... 240 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,520 -No, no. -...to spare your feelings. 241 00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:37,640 -A lie is a lie! 242 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,060 -As someone who has been lied to as well. 243 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,980 -You! You're my colleague. -Yes. 244 00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,570 Les: That's my wife. -I know. 245 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,480 -Richard, what in the name of science? 246 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,490 Like, what the... [shouts] fuck?! 247 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,150 [both shriek] 248 00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:54,870 -What the fucking fuck?! 249 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,210 Fuck! 250 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,550 [laughing] 251 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,920 -This is not fucking funny! 252 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,050 -You're holding a pillow over your tiny junk. 253 00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,390 It's so tiny. 254 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,350 You're both so tiny. 255 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:16,890 Oop, there's the tiny bum. 256 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,180 That's so cute. Lindy: Fuck you! 257 00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:21,520 I am gonna fucking kill you! 258 00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:24,520 -Oh, yeah? Try. -I'm fucking--you're a liar! 259 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,520 You lied! -What's that? 260 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,190 Did you say something? -I--fuck you! 261 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:32,460 You made me this way! I fucking hate you! 262 00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:37,540 -I think you dropped this. -Fuck you! 263 00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:39,250 -Are you tap dancing? 264 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,540 -No. Fuck you. Fuck you. 265 00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:44,090 -Hey, hey, I think this has gone far enough. 266 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,380 -You know what, Richard? 267 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,130 I think you're right. 268 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,430 [tense music playing] 269 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,810 [rumbling] -Hold on. 270 00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:04,400 This is not good. -Oh, you think? You think? 271 00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,560 I can't believe you did this on purpose. 272 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,400 On purpose? Why would you do that? 273 00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:10,440 -You don't--Richard, hey, hey. -Oh, my God. I feel sick. 274 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,070 -This is not about you, okay? -Where is my mom? 275 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,450 -Oh, no! [Richard screams] 276 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,950 -No! Richard! 277 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,580 Richard: Les, Les, we gotta talk about this. 278 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,910 Les, please. 279 00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:21,250 No man could've resisted 280 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,250 the siren song of that woman. 281 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,250 The beguiling web she weaved. 282 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,590 The hypnotic allure of that brunch. 283 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,090 She deceived me! She deceived both of us! 284 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,920 -No. 285 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,340 You deceived me, Richard, for six and a half months. 286 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,210 [yelps] 287 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,100 We share thoughts, we share science. 288 00:13:39,130 --> 00:13:41,680 We do not share my wife. 289 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,770 Richard: Les, I'm sorry. Nothing happened between us. 290 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,940 -[bird chirping] Richard: I... [groans] 291 00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:46,820 Okay, you're squeezing kind of tightly. 292 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,660 Les. 293 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,030 [grunting] Please. Okay. 294 00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,110 Oh, where are we going? [bird chirps] 295 00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:54,610 Richard: Les, no, no, no. No, no, no. Les. 296 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,320 Les: Hello, Dolores. Richard: Les, please. 297 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,450 Les. No. Les, you can't do this. 298 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,620 Please. Les. Les! 299 00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:02,830 Les, no! No, please! 300 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,370 Les. Les. Les, no, no, no. 301 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,670 [screams] 302 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,340 No! No! 303 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:14,970 No! Please, stop! 304 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,470 Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up. 305 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,190 [groaning and yelping] 306 00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:24,020 Please, in the name of science! 307 00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:25,810 -How dare you blaspheme science? 308 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,810 -No, no. -On top of everything else. 309 00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,730 -No! Please! No, no. 310 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,320 -Meet your new playmate, pretty bird. 311 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,480 -Please, no. -His name is Fuck You. 312 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,740 -I don't wanna play with a bird. 313 00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,320 I don't wanna play with a bird. 314 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,910 Oh! [groans] 315 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,040 Oh! Oh! 316 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,420 -[chirping] Richard: Oh, my God, no! 317 00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:46,710 It's, uh, Dolores, right? -[squawking] 318 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,380 Good birdie. Good birdie. 319 00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:52,390 Hey. 320 00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:56,170 Oh. Uh, the pen. 321 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:58,390 Is the pen truly mightier than the sword? 322 00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:01,560 En garde! -[screeching] 323 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,110 -I'm coming, Richard. I'm coming. 324 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,610 [gasps] [footsteps thudding] 325 00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:10,070 -Oh. 326 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:12,770 Shit. 327 00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:14,400 Okay. Okay. 328 00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,160 [power shuts down] 329 00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,000 -Oh, what is he doing? 330 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,200 [gasps] 331 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,870 [metallic clicking] 332 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,840 -What is that? -[beeps] 333 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,430 Shut the fuck up, Space Anus. 334 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,100 [ominous music playing] 335 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,810 -Live in darkness. 336 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,990 [Lindy grunting] 337 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,410 [groaning, panting] 338 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,460 [bird cage clatters] 339 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:10,670 -Richard? 340 00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:14,220 Richie! 341 00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,390 [suspenseful music playing] 342 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,940 -Richard! 343 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,400 Richie. 344 00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:35,620 [gasps] 345 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:39,870 Richard! 346 00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:45,880 Richie! 347 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,050 Richard! Where are you? 348 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,500 Richie? I'm sorry. 349 00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,590 I know this is all my fault. 350 00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,380 [phone dings] -Oh, fuck. 351 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,140 That is a lot of texts. 352 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,890 Wait. [phone dings] 353 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,610 -What? 354 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,730 No. Oh, my God. 355 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:13,990 What is she...? 356 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:17,900 Jenna: Good morning. We recently featured 357 00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:20,230 Pulitzer Prize-winning author Lindy Littlejohn 358 00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,740 on the Read with Jenna segment of our show. 359 00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:25,410 We've learned Lindy's been accused of plagiarizing 360 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,450 her recently published New Yorker short story, 361 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,370 "Untitled on Purpose." 362 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,080 The shocking allegation originated from an unexpected 363 00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,870 and personal place, a viral TikTok video 364 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,920 posted by the author's own daughter... 365 00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:38,920 -[gasps] -...Louise Littlejohn. 366 00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:43,260 -So, my mom is a, quote, "successful writer," unquote. 367 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,800 -Lulu! -She wrote one book 368 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,550 150 years ago. 369 00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:50,600 Anyway, this week, out of nowhere, 370 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:53,390 Mom drops a short story in The New Yorker? 371 00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:56,100 And everyone loses their [bleep] over it. 372 00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:59,940 Well, I'm gonna let you in on a big secret. 373 00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,740 My mom didn't write it. 374 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,570 She stole it from one of her students. 375 00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,240 -What the actual fuck? Lulu: The truth is, my mom 376 00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:08,740 doesn't even write anymore. 377 00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:10,410 She spends her days watching Housewives 378 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,240 and making fake Paris Review accounts 379 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,910 so she can [bleep] talk other writers. 380 00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,580 -You... 381 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,290 Jenna: We were unable to reach Lindy Littlejohn 382 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,590 directly for comment, but we were able to reach 383 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,760 the author's mother, Diane McMichael Jones, 384 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,920 who is widely suspected to have inspired 385 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,930 the mother character in her daughter's 386 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,010 Pulitzer Prize-winning debut novel, 387 00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,310 My Rainbow Starts with Black. 388 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:32,980 -No, I have no comment. 389 00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:36,850 Except to say, 390 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:39,520 I haven't read Lindy's little story. 391 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,520 But I will say, I didn't care for her portrayal 392 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,320 of the mother character in her novel. 393 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:44,320 -[moaning] 394 00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,320 -The real crime is that Lindy made me out 395 00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:50,000 to be a terrible mother, which I'm not. 396 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,830 Jenna: What a wild, unexpected turn 397 00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,290 for Lindy Littlejohn. 398 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,710 We'll continue to follow this story 399 00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,180 and keep you updated as it develops. 400 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,210 Lulu [on video]: I'm gonna let you in on a big secret. 401 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,720 My mom didn't write it. 402 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,760 She stole it from one of her students. 403 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,260 The truth is, my mom doesn't even write anymore. 404 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,430 She spends her days watching Housewives 405 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,140 and making fake Paris Review accounts 406 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,890 so she can shit talk other writers. 407 00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:20,810 -St. Lulu DeLulu. 408 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:22,400 -Oh, sorry. I didn't hear my name. 409 00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,770 -I didn't call it. 410 00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,610 I want to bring it to you personally. 411 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,320 -Oh. 412 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,450 Okay. Thank you. 413 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,950 barista: I also have a complicated 414 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:32,290 relationship with my mother. 415 00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:35,290 Here, a cakepop, on me. 416 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,330 I hope you like vanilla. 417 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,720 -Thank you. -Thank you, St. Lulu DeLulu. 418 00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:45,220 [phone dings] 419 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,850 ♪ This time of night ♪ ♪ Feels like ♪ 420 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,270 ♪ I'm losing my mind to find ♪ 421 00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:01,650 ♪ The smell of blood ♪ ♪ In my dreams ♪ 422 00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:08,490 ♪ Darkness and silence bring ♪ ♪ The fear in your eyes ♪ 423 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,540 [indistinct chatter] [jazz music playing] 424 00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:34,970 -Here's to us. 425 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,180 -I thought you were bringing an us. 426 00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,310 -No, fuck that us. 427 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:38,640 New Year, new Les. 428 00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,690 -Wow, who knew? Hilton: Hey! 429 00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,560 No Lindy tonight? 430 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,560 -No, no, she's at home, under a blanket, 431 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,860 not in a party mood, no. 432 00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:48,150 -Oh. Well, I can't say I blame her. 433 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:52,150 Uh, that interview turned into quite the Greek tragedy. 434 00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:53,660 But you can tell me. 435 00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:56,200 I won't tell anyone other than everyone. 436 00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:57,660 [laughs] 437 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,660 Did she do it? Plagiarize the story? 438 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,160 -Oh, I don't know. 439 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,830 What? I don't know. 440 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,670 -Right answer. Deny, deny, deny. 441 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:06,920 All set for tonight? 442 00:21:06,950 --> 00:21:08,340 -Everything is in place. Hilton: Great. 443 00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:09,470 General Henderson: Hilton. -Oh, General. 444 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:12,840 -May I have a word? -Oh, of course. 445 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,230 Looking forward to the party trick. 446 00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,850 -Party trick? What? -A performance. 447 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,350 There are several important private equity investors here 448 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,770 that Hilton would love to impress 449 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,060 with a preview of your tech. 450 00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:24,940 -Absolutely not. 451 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:28,190 I am a scientist, not a party clown. 452 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,190 You know the tech is incomplete. What am I supposed to do? 453 00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:31,690 Fake it? No. 454 00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:34,240 -It's just a preview, short and sweet. 455 00:21:34,270 --> 00:21:36,080 The corn is small, ta-da. 456 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,200 The corn is big, ta-da. End of story. 457 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,580 -It's fraud. -It's sales. 458 00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:43,370 -It's my ass in prison is what it is. 459 00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,540 I've already got a journalist poking around the lab, 460 00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,290 asking questions about Bob the Explainer's 461 00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:48,790 MedBot brother-in-law. 462 00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:50,430 What's to stop Nils exposing me? 463 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,140 -Let me worry about Nils and your ass. 464 00:21:54,710 --> 00:21:56,480 It is one worth saving. 465 00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:59,560 Tonight, the only thing on your mind 466 00:21:59,590 --> 00:22:02,440 should be Nobel. 467 00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:04,390 -Nobel? 468 00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:05,440 -Nobel. 469 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,280 Do you see what I see? 470 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,240 -[gasps] 471 00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:18,780 That's Dr. Emil Schaffhausen. 472 00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:20,080 -Nobel Prize recipient 473 00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:21,580 and current committee member. 474 00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:22,910 Chair, in fact. 475 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,580 -Oh, I did my postgraduate work 476 00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:27,120 on Dr. Schaffhausen's Theory of Entanglement Swapping. 477 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,960 He is a bona fide science genius. 478 00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:30,500 -Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 479 00:22:30,540 --> 00:22:32,590 Just imagine what the support of a man like that 480 00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,640 would do for your career. -[gasps] 481 00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:36,810 It's just a preview, 482 00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:42,150 short and sweet, small and big. 483 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,030 -Ta-da. 484 00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:49,070 [phone dings, chimes] 485 00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:53,660 [people chattering] [phone continues chiming] 486 00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:56,500 [inhales sharply] [turns off phone] 487 00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:01,490 -Hey, why are you here? 488 00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,700 -Why are any of us here? 489 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:04,330 -Oh, God. Is this where we are? 490 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,040 Um, well, everyone else is, uh, down the hall, 491 00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:08,460 getting drunk as hell, watching the tourists 492 00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:10,290 in Times Square freeze their asses off. 493 00:23:10,330 --> 00:23:12,800 We're doing a shot every time a police horse takes a dump. 494 00:23:12,830 --> 00:23:14,050 [chuckles] 495 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,850 -I need something different in my life. 496 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,060 What's this? 497 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,190 -Something different. 498 00:23:29,550 --> 00:23:31,900 -Did you open this? -No--yes. 499 00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:33,530 It's my job. My eyes, then yours. 500 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:48,910 -Oh, fuck! 501 00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:49,870 What do I do? 502 00:23:49,910 --> 00:23:50,830 [telephone ringing] 503 00:23:50,870 --> 00:23:52,750 -[gasps] It's him. I know it. 504 00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,210 -You answer it. -You answer it. 505 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,760 -It's your job. 506 00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,010 -I'm actually off the clock, so you answer it. 507 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,220 -Fuck. 508 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:02,730 Okay. 509 00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:08,230 Hello, this is Terry. 510 00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:10,270 Lindy: Yeah, it's me. -It's Lindy. 511 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:11,560 Oh, I'm not missing this shit show. 512 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,020 -Your phone is off. 513 00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:15,770 Terry: For just this reason. 514 00:24:15,810 --> 00:24:19,290 -[sighs] You're hiding from me because you failed me. 515 00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:20,610 -No, no, no, no, no. 516 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,700 You failed me. 517 00:24:22,730 --> 00:24:24,950 What happened to do nothing, say nothing? 518 00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:26,910 Lindy: You don't understand. 519 00:24:26,940 --> 00:24:28,870 I am so small. 520 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:31,130 I needed something. 521 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,550 -Well, you're about to get smaller. 522 00:24:36,580 --> 00:24:38,420 Lindy, the damage has been done. 523 00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,260 The Pulitzer committee is meeting 524 00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:41,970 and there's talk of rescinding your award. 525 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,550 -What? No. 526 00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,760 No, not--no, they can't. 527 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,270 -They can. And they most likely will. 528 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,610 Lindy: But... 529 00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:53,610 but what am I without it? 530 00:24:55,810 --> 00:24:57,450 -A former client. 531 00:24:59,310 --> 00:25:00,370 -Terry... 532 00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:02,710 -Brutal but warranted. 533 00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,910 -Lindy, I tried. I really tried, 534 00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:07,240 but I'm somehow still clean in this, this, this... 535 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,410 -Shit storm, shit sandwich, a shitnado. 536 00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:10,960 -...shitnado. 537 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,660 I warned you, Lindy, 538 00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:15,080 and you chose Jenna over me. 539 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,500 Over our friendship, our partnership. 540 00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,760 I can't--I can't believe I'm saying this, 541 00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:22,800 but I, I... 542 00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:24,810 [driving music playing] 543 00:25:28,550 --> 00:25:30,570 I'm officially cutting ties with you. 544 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:32,820 Lindy: Terry... 545 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,480 please. No. 546 00:25:35,510 --> 00:25:37,110 Please don't leave me. I... 547 00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:38,940 I have no one. 548 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,280 I am totally alone here. 549 00:25:41,310 --> 00:25:45,110 I, uh--my own mother, my daughter, my husband, 550 00:25:45,150 --> 00:25:46,530 Les fuckin' hates me. 551 00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:49,950 Uh, it is truly over between us now, 552 00:25:49,990 --> 00:25:52,840 and I can't lose you, too. 553 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,170 Terry: I'm sorry it's come to this. 554 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,710 [disconnected tone] 555 00:25:58,740 --> 00:26:01,760 [dramatic music playing] 556 00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,350 -Hey, you had to. I know it's hard. 557 00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:12,690 I'll miss her, too. 558 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,810 Oh, um, Ms. Holden, Happy New Year. 559 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,400 -Nothing happy, nothing new. 560 00:26:17,430 --> 00:26:19,200 Why did you offer a Jackie Baldwin 561 00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:22,150 a six-figure book deal when I've seen no Jackie, 562 00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:24,240 no book, no email, no proposal? 563 00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:26,320 -Cyd, she is the next big thing. 564 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,990 -Yeah, well, you better hope so. 565 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:31,210 No Lindy, no Jackie, no imprint. 566 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,380 -Love the top. [chuckles] 567 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,220 Paper trail, you're unclean. 568 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,470 -So are you. 569 00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:42,720 -Fuck. 570 00:26:46,460 --> 00:26:49,520 [electronic music playing] 571 00:26:54,340 --> 00:26:58,230 [rumbles and whooshes] [crowd gasps] 572 00:26:58,260 --> 00:27:00,230 Hilton: Yeah. 573 00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:04,790 -Now, I need a volunteer. 574 00:27:07,650 --> 00:27:08,660 Sir. 575 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:12,210 [music continues] 576 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,560 -That's fantastisch. That's wonderful. 577 00:27:28,830 --> 00:27:31,010 The corn has been miniaturized 578 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,970 into what appears to be one-tenth its original size. 579 00:27:35,010 --> 00:27:37,770 -One-twelfth, to be precise. 580 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,070 And now... 581 00:27:40,390 --> 00:27:42,820 [music continues] 582 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,920 [sizzling] 583 00:27:55,570 --> 00:27:58,840 [cheers and applause] 584 00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:05,380 -I did not expect... 585 00:28:05,410 --> 00:28:07,340 -Two-minute warning. -Not now. 586 00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:09,630 -These are serious implications, you know. 587 00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:11,300 You must be-- -Dr. Littlejohn, 588 00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,970 it's been an explosive evening. 589 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,690 -Sir, uh... 590 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,360 -Quick, the corn, go. 591 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,320 -Here we are. I was just saying 592 00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:29,820 to, um, Dr. Schaffhausen, who was expecting an explosion, 593 00:28:29,850 --> 00:28:32,570 how clever it was that we mitigated the explosion 594 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,830 by storing the exothermally generated energy 595 00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:36,540 on a subatomic level. 596 00:28:36,570 --> 00:28:37,830 Vivienne: Yes, it was an explosive... 597 00:28:37,860 --> 00:28:39,330 [explodes] [Janet screams] 598 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,380 -...discovery. 599 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,000 -To an explosive New Year! 600 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,250 man: Yeah! 601 00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:50,720 [cheers and applause] 602 00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:53,640 [whirring] 603 00:28:56,460 --> 00:28:58,570 -[sighs] 604 00:29:00,220 --> 00:29:02,570 I've hit rock bottom. 605 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,240 It's all fucking gone. 606 00:29:10,810 --> 00:29:12,580 What is the point? 607 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:16,080 [whirring stops] 608 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,300 [gasps] 609 00:29:22,410 --> 00:29:24,630 Richie, you're alive. 610 00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:26,040 Oh, my God. 611 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,640 -No, no, no. You disgust me. 612 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,550 I-I mean it. I'm disgusted. 613 00:29:31,580 --> 00:29:33,090 It consumes me. 614 00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:37,390 My heart, my mind, my soul, everything hurts. 615 00:29:37,420 --> 00:29:39,890 -Richie. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 616 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,560 But I-- -But... 617 00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:43,360 -Well, but-- -But... 618 00:29:44,930 --> 00:29:48,120 a true apology should never include a qualifier. 619 00:29:48,970 --> 00:29:50,280 -You're right. 620 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,740 I'm sorry. No but. 621 00:29:52,770 --> 00:29:54,790 What I did was inexcusable. 622 00:29:56,770 --> 00:29:59,280 I had no idea Les was gonna react like that. 623 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,450 I didn't think it through. I... 624 00:30:01,490 --> 00:30:03,790 -I suppose a reaction of that magnitude 625 00:30:03,820 --> 00:30:05,010 couldn't have been predicted. 626 00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:07,050 -I, uh, I need you... 627 00:30:08,330 --> 00:30:09,630 now more than ever. 628 00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:13,130 You have no idea what has happened to me. 629 00:30:13,170 --> 00:30:14,170 -What happened... -I-- 630 00:30:14,210 --> 00:30:15,340 -...to you? 631 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,310 -Uh, yeah. The--this-- 632 00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:19,760 -I have the floor. 633 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,010 -Okay. 634 00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:22,770 -I'm gonna finish my monologue. 635 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,180 -Of course. 636 00:30:24,220 --> 00:30:27,190 -I was forced to do unspeakable things 637 00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:28,980 to one of God's beloved creatures. 638 00:30:29,010 --> 00:30:32,820 I was coerced into abandoning my moral code 639 00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:35,780 and playing a part in your marital folly, 640 00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:37,910 but I am not above reproach. 641 00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:40,660 I am guilty on two counts. 642 00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:42,200 One, in the name of love, 643 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:47,040 and the other, in the name of science. 644 00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,710 I believe in Les. 645 00:30:48,740 --> 00:30:51,960 I believe he'll solve the restoration formula 646 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,630 before his 30-day deadline. 647 00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:56,020 And I will beg him... 648 00:30:57,710 --> 00:30:59,390 to forgive me, 649 00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,810 then I will throw myself at the mercy of science 650 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,190 in the hopes of being restored to my regular size. 651 00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:12,280 -Did you say 30-day deadline? 652 00:31:14,180 --> 00:31:15,900 -That is what you heard? -No. 653 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,650 No, I heard, uh-- I heard it all. 654 00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:21,870 The folly, and the Les, and the--uh, but what-- 655 00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:22,990 -But? -But... 656 00:31:23,030 --> 00:31:24,160 -But? -But what the fuck 657 00:31:24,190 --> 00:31:25,750 is the 30-day deadline? 658 00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:27,330 -According to the contract, 659 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,540 Les has 30 days to solve the formula 660 00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:33,670 or he's fired and the tech reverts to Hilton. 661 00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:36,560 He has 22 days left. 662 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,680 -He only ever had 30 days? 663 00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:43,100 And now he only has... 664 00:31:43,130 --> 00:31:45,270 -Twenty-two. -Oh, my God. 665 00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:47,480 -Oh, it's closer to 21, actually. 666 00:31:48,550 --> 00:31:50,940 -Another fuckin' lie! 667 00:31:50,970 --> 00:31:53,060 -Oh, my golly. Lindy: Right? 668 00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:54,690 Richard: No. -Wait. Where are you going? 669 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,120 -I need space from you. -Okay. But... 670 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,670 -I'm getting my own place. 671 00:32:03,730 --> 00:32:04,920 -[sighs] 672 00:32:05,900 --> 00:32:07,340 Fucking Les. 673 00:32:08,450 --> 00:32:10,840 He's gonna pay for this. 674 00:32:15,290 --> 00:32:16,250 [crowd cheering] 675 00:32:16,290 --> 00:32:17,460 Lindy [on recording]: What kind of monster 676 00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:20,090 makes a horrible TikTok video about their own mother? 677 00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:22,590 You are a spoiled child and a lying liar. 678 00:32:22,630 --> 00:32:25,510 -Whoo, Mommy mad. 679 00:32:25,550 --> 00:32:27,520 If you thought that was crazy, 680 00:32:27,550 --> 00:32:31,940 wait until you hear DJ Todd's remix! 681 00:32:31,970 --> 00:32:34,410 [horn sounds] [crowd cheers] 682 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,480 -Yo, mic drop. Mic drop! 683 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,280 crowd [chanting]: Mic drop! Mic drop! 684 00:32:39,310 --> 00:32:41,030 [microphone squeals] Lindy: ♪ Liar, liar, lie, liar ♪ 685 00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,490 ♪ Liar, liar, lying liar, ♪ 686 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,370 ♪ Liar, lie, lie, liar ♪ 687 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,120 ♪ Monster, monster ♪ 688 00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:47,450 ♪ Liar, liar... ♪ -Mic Drop. 689 00:32:47,490 --> 00:32:50,870 -Hey, want a shot? -Yeah. Okay. 690 00:32:50,910 --> 00:32:52,340 Lindy: ♪ Monster, monster ♪ 691 00:32:52,540 --> 00:32:54,290 ♪ What kind of monster ♪ 692 00:32:54,330 --> 00:32:55,160 ♪ Makes a horrible ♪ ♪ TikTok video ♪ 693 00:32:55,190 --> 00:32:56,550 ♪ About their own mother? ♪ 694 00:32:56,580 --> 00:32:57,800 ♪ You are a spoiled child ♪ 695 00:32:57,830 --> 00:32:59,170 ♪ And a lying liar ♪ 696 00:32:59,210 --> 00:33:00,850 ♪ What kind of monster... ♪ 697 00:33:02,330 --> 00:33:03,720 -Who are you? 698 00:33:03,750 --> 00:33:05,550 -What? -Who are you? 699 00:33:05,590 --> 00:33:07,720 I don't recognize you. 700 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,640 -I'm St. Lulu DeLulu. 701 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,190 -You got half that right. 702 00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:13,310 Lulu: Hey, I read the book. 703 00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:15,980 How fuckin' Lindy was my move? 704 00:33:16,010 --> 00:33:19,030 -Very. -See? 705 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:20,530 -I think you missed the point. 706 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,250 -That was the point. 707 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,820 -Want another drink? 708 00:33:25,860 --> 00:33:28,160 -Sure, boss. -Me too! 709 00:33:28,190 --> 00:33:30,660 -Pace yourself, DeLulu. 710 00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:33,720 [electronic music playing] 711 00:33:39,870 --> 00:33:41,260 -Can I fuckin' help you? 712 00:33:41,290 --> 00:33:43,090 -I don't want your help. 713 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,890 -Wow, judgment from the shirtless wonder. 714 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,560 -She's your mom. -She's a liar. 715 00:33:48,590 --> 00:33:50,430 -You'll regret it. 716 00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:52,230 -Fuck that. 717 00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:55,520 I am her literal regret. 718 00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:58,230 -Well, you sure are living up to that title, aren't you? 719 00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:02,190 ♪ Pull me places ♪ ♪ To the end of the... ♪ 720 00:34:02,230 --> 00:34:05,250 [muffled rock music playing] 721 00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:12,630 [door opens] 722 00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,430 [knocks on door] 723 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,710 Mike: You good? 724 00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:23,260 -I'm peeing. 725 00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:25,310 Mike: You're scrolling. 726 00:34:26,790 --> 00:34:28,430 -Fuck off, Tarzan. 727 00:34:28,460 --> 00:34:30,430 -No one made you come here. 728 00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:32,390 -My bladder made me come here. 729 00:34:32,420 --> 00:34:34,060 -You think you're so clever. 730 00:34:34,090 --> 00:34:36,390 I know you came here tonight to see me. 731 00:34:36,430 --> 00:34:39,530 -Yeah, says the guy who followed me into the bathroom? 732 00:34:40,770 --> 00:34:43,120 -What if I did? Does that frighten you? 733 00:34:44,190 --> 00:34:45,330 -A little. 734 00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:49,160 Did you buy that? 735 00:34:49,190 --> 00:34:51,000 -I kinda wanted to. Is that bad? 736 00:34:52,860 --> 00:34:54,670 -Kind of. 737 00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,300 -But you kinda liked it. 738 00:34:58,450 --> 00:35:01,050 -You did. You followed me in here. 739 00:35:02,620 --> 00:35:03,810 -Busted. 740 00:35:06,670 --> 00:35:10,430 [door opens, closes] 741 00:35:10,460 --> 00:35:11,810 Les: Lindy. 742 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,480 Lindy. 743 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,150 Guess who's getting his big prize. 744 00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:27,030 Guess who's gonna open a bottle 745 00:35:27,060 --> 00:35:30,000 of not-to-be-opened-never? Me. 746 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:35,040 Oh, it's--Richard. 747 00:35:35,070 --> 00:35:36,210 Richard? 748 00:35:36,580 --> 00:35:37,830 [suspenseful music playing] 749 00:35:37,860 --> 00:35:39,620 Dolores? Richard. 750 00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:42,500 Oh, God. Oh, God. 751 00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:43,960 Oh. 752 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,630 Is that blood? 753 00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:47,470 Whose blood? 754 00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,850 Oh, is that-- is that human flesh? 755 00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,100 God. Richard? 756 00:35:52,590 --> 00:35:53,730 Richard? 757 00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,810 Richard, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry. 758 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,140 I'm sorry. I-- 759 00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:01,810 Richard, I was angry and I was hurt 760 00:36:01,850 --> 00:36:04,370 and I thought a few pecks would even the score. 761 00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:07,370 Richard? 762 00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:12,870 Richard, please. 763 00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:16,290 Please, Richard, reveal yourself. 764 00:36:19,570 --> 00:36:21,710 Lind-- Lindy? 765 00:36:21,740 --> 00:36:23,720 [music continues] 766 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,400 Lindy? Lindy. It's all a dream, all a dream. 767 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,080 Have I killed a man? 768 00:36:48,390 --> 00:36:49,950 A man of science, no less. 769 00:36:54,070 --> 00:36:57,090 [jazz music playing] 770 00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,870 -Are you Anonymous? 771 00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:05,140 -That is the only way this works. 772 00:37:11,170 --> 00:37:12,310 -Okay. 773 00:37:13,790 --> 00:37:16,220 I'm not used to the whole cloak-and-dagger routine. 774 00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:18,140 You know, it's Scientific American. 775 00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:19,440 -Do you know who I am? 776 00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:23,950 -Yeah, you're...Anonymous. 777 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:26,060 -You passed. 778 00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:27,320 Drive. 779 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,700 -Hoo. [sniffles] 780 00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:41,960 [app trills then chimes] 781 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,920 -Richard. -Janet. 782 00:37:44,950 --> 00:37:46,580 Janet: Happy New Year. 783 00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:48,460 -Happy New Year to you, too. 784 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,090 -Uh, what happened to your head? 785 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:55,010 -Oh, I just--I had an altercation with a bird. 786 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,140 -On the farm? 787 00:37:56,170 --> 00:37:57,600 -Yeah, something like that. 788 00:37:57,630 --> 00:37:58,600 So, listen. 789 00:37:58,630 --> 00:38:00,640 I just wanted to say 790 00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:02,770 thank you for the quill pen. 791 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,650 It, um, saved my life. 792 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,440 -Oh, well, the pen is mightier than the sword. 793 00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:10,190 Richard: I can attest to that. 794 00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:11,610 Where are you? 795 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,030 -I'm at the lab, in the creepy basement. 796 00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:19,000 Uh, here to reboot the, uh, thermal energy tank. 797 00:38:20,150 --> 00:38:22,040 -You drew the short straw again? 798 00:38:22,070 --> 00:38:23,450 -Uh-hmm. 799 00:38:23,490 --> 00:38:25,000 -Bob should've stepped up. 800 00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:27,380 -Oh, yeah. It's... It's okay. I was, um-- 801 00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:28,710 I was out anyway. 802 00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:31,050 -Ohh? You on a date? 803 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,380 -No, no. 804 00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:34,630 I was, um-- it was a work event. 805 00:38:34,670 --> 00:38:36,390 You wouldn't guess where. 806 00:38:37,210 --> 00:38:38,640 -Tell me everything. 807 00:38:38,670 --> 00:38:40,510 Janet: It was at Hilton's mansion. 808 00:38:40,550 --> 00:38:41,850 He invited all of us, 809 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,570 me and the Bobs-- Well, not the Bobs so much. 810 00:38:55,940 --> 00:38:57,620 -[sighs] 811 00:39:00,610 --> 00:39:03,170 [suspenseful music playing] 812 00:39:24,670 --> 00:39:25,820 -[screams] 813 00:39:28,180 --> 00:39:30,530 [fire alarm beeping] 814 00:39:34,310 --> 00:39:37,320 -Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh. Oh. 815 00:39:37,350 --> 00:39:39,370 Oh, fuck. Oh. Oh. 816 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:45,290 -Happy New Year, Les. 817 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,380 -Oh! 818 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:58,180 [fire alarm stops] -Where's Richard?! 819 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,970 -Who knows? Weren't you the last one to see him? 820 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,350 How's the formula coming, huh? 821 00:40:05,380 --> 00:40:06,850 What have you got, 22 days left? 822 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,190 Or is it technically 21 now? 823 00:40:09,220 --> 00:40:10,730 -Lindy... 824 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,780 Either way, I bet you're so close. 825 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:18,570 Make that the epitaph of my tiny headstone, fucker. 826 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,820 -I didn't wanna tell you 827 00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:20,990 'cause I didn't wanna worry you. 828 00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:22,990 -And I'm not worried! 829 00:40:23,020 --> 00:40:24,660 I've accepted. 830 00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:26,580 You can't solve the formula. 831 00:40:26,610 --> 00:40:28,330 -I will solve the formula! Lindy: Fuck you! 832 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,330 You lie even to yourself. 833 00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:34,380 [chuckles] I've made peace with being six inches tall. 834 00:40:34,410 --> 00:40:36,170 I even kinda like it. 835 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,550 And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life 836 00:40:39,580 --> 00:40:42,010 a living hell. 837 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,260 -What? Why? 838 00:40:43,290 --> 00:40:45,260 -Careful, sweetie. 839 00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:46,850 Your ass is on fire. 840 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,730 [fire alarm beeping] 841 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:54,990 [Lindy laughs] 842 00:40:57,980 --> 00:40:59,240 [fire alarm stops] 843 00:40:59,270 --> 00:41:00,860 -Oh, God. 844 00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:04,120 I've created a tiny monster. 845 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,420 Oh! Oh, no. 846 00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:16,510 The stars have claimed one of their own. 847 00:41:20,750 --> 00:41:22,810 It's been an honor, Space Colonel. 848 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:25,440 [music continues] 849 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:35,980 [birds chirping] [hawk screeches] 850 00:41:36,010 --> 00:41:37,820 -[grunts] Oh. 851 00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:43,910 What the fuck? 852 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:45,160 Where... 853 00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,570 where... 854 00:41:46,610 --> 00:41:49,580 -I'll see your tiny cat, Dr. Littlejohn. 855 00:41:49,610 --> 00:41:50,660 -[gasping] 856 00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:52,380 Vivienne: And raise you a tiny, 857 00:41:53,610 --> 00:41:56,580 silenced reporter. 858 00:41:56,620 --> 00:41:58,010 [gasps] 859 00:41:58,450 --> 00:42:01,760 Ta-da. 860 00:42:01,790 --> 00:42:03,420 [rock music playing] 861 00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:06,810 [Nils screaming] 862 00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:26,330 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 863 00:42:32,490 --> 00:42:34,340 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 864 00:42:40,910 --> 00:42:43,710 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 865 00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:49,350 ♪ Put on your red shoes ♪ ♪ And dance the blues ♪ 866 00:42:49,380 --> 00:42:51,470 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 867 00:42:51,510 --> 00:42:53,980 ♪ To the song ♪ ♪ They're playing ♪ 868 00:42:54,010 --> 00:42:57,850 ♪ On the radio ♪ 869 00:42:57,890 --> 00:42:59,480 ♪ Let's sway ♪ 870 00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:05,120 ♪ While color lights up ♪ ♪ Your face ♪ 871 00:43:06,270 --> 00:43:08,820 ♪ Let's sway ♪ 872 00:43:08,860 --> 00:43:12,790 ♪ Sway through the crowd ♪ ♪ To an empty space ♪ 873 00:43:14,860 --> 00:43:16,830 ♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪ 874 00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:18,920 ♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪ 875 00:43:18,950 --> 00:43:20,890 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 876 00:43:27,380 --> 00:43:28,890 ♪ Let's dance ♪